In a world that increasingly values mental well-being and emotional resilience, positivity has become a guiding principle — something we’re encouraged to adopt in our relationships, workplaces, parenting styles, and personal lives.
But when positivity becomes performative or dismissive, it can stop being helpful and start becoming harmful. This is where toxic positivity creeps in — a well-intentioned but often damaging tendency to deny, minimize, or invalidate genuine emotional experiences.
In this blog, we’ll explore:
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What toxic positivity is (and what it isn’t)
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Why it’s trending in 2025
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The real psychological cost of pushing away difficult emotions
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How to recognise when positivity turns toxic
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5 ways to promote emotional honesty and healthy optimism
🌤️ What Is Toxic Positivity?
Toxic positivity is the unrelenting pressure to stay upbeat, no matter how painful, challenging, or complex a situation may be. It often sounds like:
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“Just stay positive.”
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“Everything happens for a reason.”
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“It could be worse.”
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“Good vibes only.”
While these phrases might seem supportive on the surface, they can invalidate someone’s emotional reality and discourage them from expressing what they’re really feeling. Toxic positivity promotes emotional suppression over emotional processing — and that’s where the damage begins.
📈 Why It’s Trending in 2025
The rise in blog posts, podcasts, and therapy sessions tackling toxic positivity isn’t a coincidence.
In 2025, society is finally beginning to question the over-glorification of relentless optimism. Influencers, therapists, and everyday people are starting to share more vulnerable content — opening up about burnout, mental illness, grief, and personal struggles. There’s a growing cultural appetite for authenticity over performance.
Mental health professionals are also noticing an increase in clients who struggle with emotional avoidance and inner criticism — often fuelled by messages that tell them to "move on" or "look on the bright side" too quickly.
We're learning that positivity can heal, but it needs to be real, timed, and balanced.
🧠 What Happens When Positivity Turns Toxic?
When people feel like they have to present a smile to the world — even when they’re falling apart inside — it leads to:
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Emotional repression: Bottling up sadness, anger, or fear can manifest as physical tension, sleep issues, or mood swings.
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Shame: Feeling guilty for being anything less than “positive” can cause low self-worth.
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Relationship breakdowns: Shallow positivity can create distance and mistrust in personal relationships.
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Delayed healing: Suppressing pain delays the grief and processing required for true recovery.
In short, toxic positivity teaches us to ignore our pain instead of learning from it.
🧭 Healthy Positivity vs. Toxic Positivity
Healthy positivity acknowledges that life can be challenging while still believing in the possibility of growth and healing. It sounds like: “This is hard, but I believe I’ll get through it.” It makes space for difficult emotions and offers encouragement without rushing someone past their pain.
Toxic positivity, on the other hand, skips over discomfort in favour of forced optimism. It sounds like: “Everything’s fine! Just stay positive!” — a phrase that might seem kind but often shuts down real emotional expression.
Where healthy positivity validates sadness, anger, or fear as natural responses, toxic positivity avoids or suppresses them. While one promotes growth, self-awareness, and connection, the other can lead to emotional disconnection, shame, and the pressure to perform happiness rather than genuinely feel it.
Ultimately, the difference lies in whether we’re honouring someone’s truth — or trying to paint over it.
💡 5 Ways to Avoid Toxic Positivity and Embrace Emotional Honesty
Here are five practical ways you can foster genuine support and healthy optimism — whether you're talking to a friend, supporting a colleague, or reflecting on your own emotions:
1. Validate First, Encourage Later
When someone opens up about something painful, don’t jump straight to the silver lining. First, meet them where they are.
Instead of:
“Don’t worry, everything will work out!”
Try:
“That sounds incredibly tough. I’m here for you.”
Validation builds trust. Once someone feels heard, they’re more open to encouragement.
2. Stop Saying “At Least”
"At least" statements tend to minimize someone’s experience. They’re often meant to help — but they rarely do.
Instead of:
“At least you still have your job.”
Try:
“I can imagine how stressful this must feel. Want to talk about what’s been going on?”
3. Let Yourself Feel Your Own Emotions
We’re often taught to be strong for others — especially as parents, leaders, coaches, or caregivers. But ignoring your own emotional pain doesn’t make it disappear. It just drives it underground.
Try journaling, talking to a therapist, or simply sitting with your feelings without judging them. Healing begins when we acknowledge what’s real.
4. Use Hope — Not Hype
Hope is powerful. It helps us see light in the dark without denying the darkness exists.
Hype, on the other hand, can feel forced or disconnected. Learn to say:
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“This is hard, and you’re doing your best.”
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“You’re allowed to be upset — and you’ll find your way through.”
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“I can’t fix it, but I can sit with you while you feel it.”
This is what real support sounds like.
5. Model Emotional Honesty
If you're a parent, friend, team leader, or therapist, remember: you set the emotional tone. When you allow yourself to say things like:
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“I’ve had a rough day, and I’m taking time to reset.”
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“I’m feeling overwhelmed — and that’s okay.”
…you show others that it’s safe to be human.
💬 Final Thoughts
There’s nothing wrong with positivity — when it’s genuine, grounded, and balanced. But when positivity becomes a mask that hides pain, it does more harm than good.
Toxic positivity teaches us to bypass discomfort. But true healing only happens when we move through our emotions, not around them.
So next time someone tells you they’re struggling, resist the urge to paint it over with bright colours. Instead, sit with them in the grey.
That’s where the real magic of connection — and recovery — begins. 🌱